Pictorial

 The ones who love me unconditionally

 Baby of the family for a little bit more

 My VVIP visitors

 1st visitor for Baby M

 Going home!

 Snooze time after morning bath

 The very loving Big Sis

Getting his baby massage

A Prayer Answered

Its been 12 days since D day. Let me recount the steps, lest I forget and try to get pregnant again.. *wink*

We went back to Dr Ang on 17 October, feeling a little bit apprehensive, I had a bit more energy than usual and felt like I could hold bub in at least til the Friday that he had scheduled me for delivery. I was still 37+ weeks making bub 'borderline preterm' but my belly looked like a torpedo ready to strike.

Au contraire, that's not my right boob as some did think.

After a painful internal examination (note to self: very very painful) he appeared a bit distraught asking Hafidz if he could get me to the hospital in 30minutes as my waterbag had been leaking apparently and I was 4cm dilated. I'm not sure how my waterbag leaked, i was clean and dry the whole time. He even offered to drive us to Thomson Medical!! Thank goodness the hospital bag had been sitting in the car slowly gathering dust from 2 weeks ago. Hafidz and I rushed there amid peak hour traffic with me gobbling down tao suan on the way for energy as the heavy steak lunch still had me quite full.

We got to Thomson Medical at 530pm, I waddled straight into the Delivery Suite where a nice Indian nurse attended to my every whim and went through all the motions with me.

Literally.

Purging, then shaving, then putting on the foetal monitor, making sure I had my water bottle in case I got thirsty and my socks in case I got cold feet (pun intended). Hafidz came in slightly later after having admitted me and by then only 30mins had passed but the contractions had started by then. I told Hafidz that it would be over by maghrib hopefully and went on to focus on my doa, an invocation by Prophet Yunus/Jonah (peace be upon him) when he was swallowed by a whale and seeked God's protection- La Illa ha Illa anta subhanaka inni kuntum minadz dzalimin..

None has the right to be worshipped save You

Glory be to You, far removed are You from any imperfection

I have been amongst the wrong-doers

6pm- sending a mass watsapp message to the cousins

7pm- in the Delivery Suite with pethidine to elevate the pain

At 7:49pm- after 15minutes to being held back in the birth canal by the attending nurse (note to self: painful beyond imagining!!!) where I ended up screaming, something I had never done in the previous deliveries, while waiting for my gynae to arrive; 4 hard pushes later; a forcep delivery only to find out the umbilical cord had wrapped itself around his neck and a dead knot elsewhere- the imminent arrival of our Little Prince, Mika Aidan Abdul Hafidz (meaning: cool, sweet, intelligent, helpful). He looked like a squashed pumpkin with abrasions- battle scars of a newborn.

And here it is... the dead knot in the umbilical cord that went undetected and could've caused so much problems. How lucky we were as my Mum would say, "berkat doa dan solat".

I could not sleep that night thinking of all the endless possibilities (all negative). How relieved to get confirmation from the paediatrician the next morning that he passed everything with flying colours and that everything is normal as pie.


So we're back at Mum's for my recovery, at least until my Helper gets here in November. Now here is the last reminder to self: just when you think the worst is over, the 2-week recovery period is just as painful to deal with. Hah, that is motivation enough to send me back to the gynae for my IUD next.

The Waiting Game. Again.

In the words of the great Sebastian Vettel who incidentally won the recent Singapore F1 race:

I put everything in that last lap, 

it was very emotional when I crossed the line. 

It was all I had, I gave it all.

The last lap is always the hardest, for so many reasons- because you're out of motivation, because you're physically exhausted, because you're fighting with elements beyond your control. It takes a huge effort to stay focused, stay sane and stay calm.

In many ways, its the same with every pregnancy. Its the last month that wears you out and wears you down. When people around you seem to think you're capable of handling the same things you're handling because well.. you've always been able to do it; when you get easily frustrated by how immobile, sleep-deprived and physically beaten you feel most days; when the body doesn't easily respond to what you will it to do- much like an F1 car with bald tyres, it takes a lot of effort to stay on course.

So my last lap goes on- I was happy for it to end today with the 37th week routine checkup- but Dr Ang says we need to wait until next Friday to pop even though bub's a healthy 2.9kg today (compared to his sisters who were both 2.7kg at birth). Just to make sure the baby lungs are matured enough to not cause any problems. I got a Decordex jab to speed up the maturing process of his lungs within the next 24hours just in case he decides to make an appearance before next Friday. Its a $20 jab that could save us $2k in incubation fee.

And so we wait. Again.

The Inner Critic

It was a fun client project shooting around Singapore but the London-based Producer couldn't get enough Malay speaking voxpops so we got thrown in as well- ha!

That's about my 2 seconds of fame!

xx

Bye Bye BB

Ab-Ab-Absolutely luvin my new iphone 5 which synchronises effortlessly with work machines MacBook Pro and Ipad. Too bad the hubby decided to switch camps from IOS to Android but he is full of praises for his Samsung SIII too so what the heck..

Instagram is an awesome cosmetic surgeon minus the knife. Like we say it in the media world "its all in the lighting". Pardon me, I've just crawled out from the BB cave- no love lost there.

Enjoying our new 4th C- 'country club' membership.

Taking stork

Its all a bit strange in hindsight. I remember getting the diagnosis from my KK gynae prior to our wedding.

"You have polycystic ovarian syndrome which means getting pregnant can be a challenge"

My world crumbled around me. Infertile??! How do I tell the soon-to-be husband..

Hafidz already knew something was not right with my irregular cycles and when I finally told him what it *could* mean, he was surprisingly calm. He pointed out that we could always adopt. Aah, the beauty of pre-marital love- they always are willing to forgive your shortcomings.

But somehow, we got pregnant 6 months after the wedding. I breezed through the pregnancy and the labour and out came a healthy little girl. Followed by a 2nd little girl. And I told the world "that's it. My production line's closed". But in time, God showed me little signs here and there, that having a little boy is important too.

And so we got pregnant again.

And family/friends all around me were surprised, knowing I wished to stop at 2. Even my own parents were caught off-guard, I was most worried telling them the news, don't ask me why.

And God fulfilled our ardent prayers to please bless us with a boy this time. Not because I like boys over girls, not because a boy is more important than a girl but just so I can really shut down the 'factory' without feeling an ounce of guilt.

I just never thought I'd get here. The only advise I have for all PCO sufferers is a medical professional is never 100% accurate. If God wills it, it will happen so continue hoping and praying.

And shagging.

:)

Larger than Life

Its that time during a pregnancy when you just can't wait to pop and be done with the 3rd trimester niggles- the heartburn, the lowered appetite, the swollen feet, the reduced mobility, the breathlessness, the heaviness... the list goes on.

Here I am: 35weeks and 3 days into this pregnancy. I have to hold it in for at least another 5 days just to be safe, says the gynae, and then I am basically safe to deliver at any point. The jabs and kicks are much stronger and more pronounced, the braxton hicks contractions are occasionally painful and he's definitely down the passage, any stretches and I feel like I'm going to pee in my pants!!

Sadly, the helper hasn't arrived, not at least until end November, so the plan is we all pack up and move to my Mum's house until she gets here. Its going to be challenge spatially, because there will soon be 5 of us but I've no other choice, really...

I've started working from home too in the meantime, thank God for flexible bosses.

So these are the last few Open Houses I attended during the Eid month, thank you everyone for feeding me endlessly. The gynae has now advised that I go on a 'diet' as he is 'bigger than average'- what irony!

Can't wait for him to join this clan of happy munsters!

xoxo